We don't have many overnight visitors, but sometimes when we do it really stresses me out!
My family recently visited us. The thing about my family is that when they come they don't just like to hang out. They always have to be doing multiple touristy things each day. And we don't live in a real touristy city (like Orlando or New York) so it's really hard to please them.
When they are here we end up spending SO much money!
I think the issue is that this year we have been in our own little bubble--our budget bubble. We go out to eat about once a month, we mostly do free activities with the kids (with the exception of some major splurges like our vacation)...our home life is very simple and frugal. But then when we have visitors come and we are forced to conform to their way of living, even for just a few days, it totally throws us off.
We asked my family in advance what they were planning on doing and they told us 2 activities. We looked up the prices and the cost for my family was about $130. Not a big deal, we could plan for that by cutting back earlier in the month.
But the bigger thing is that they always want to go out to eat. Like they insist on it. So we went out to eat for most meals while they were here and spent around $150-$200. I made one meal at home for everyone and would have done more but they don't like hanging out at home.
When we go to these touristy places, their kids raid the gift shops and their parents buy them at least one thing from every gift shop we encounter. And then my kids are like hey, we want something too (when we are by ourselves they don't expect something from every place we go).
I have a friend from college coming to visit me in a few weeks. She is single, no kids, and leads a totally different lifestyle. She travels all the time, is very social, and is just the total opposite of our frugal family lifestyle. She is already making suggestions on stuff we can do while she is here and I'm hoping to reach a compromise. Like instead of all 5 of us going places with her, maybe just I can go. She will be here on a Sunday and Monday (and I already warned her about weekdays not being a good time for me, with 3 kids and school and their activities). So I guess the whole upcoming visit is stressing me out.
I realize as I write this that I probably sound like an old fuddy-duddy set in my ways. I am thankful that we have people that want to visit us, I really am. I just get stressed out about the money part and feeling like I have to keep people entertained.
Anybody else go through the same things with visitors?
Visitors stress me out
October 26th, 2012 at 01:07 pm
October 26th, 2012 at 01:51 pm 1351259501
October 26th, 2012 at 02:24 pm 1351261473
October 26th, 2012 at 02:30 pm 1351261808
October 26th, 2012 at 04:55 pm 1351270511
When SD and her BF visited on Labor Day weekend, all they wanted to do was eat out. I was visiting my sister in CA at the time (she was undergoing surgery for breast cancer) so dh had to deal with them by himself. Dh said he spent over $300 taking them out to eat at restaurants SD had researched and wanted to try. Not once did SD offer to pay for their meals and my dh is a too easy when it comes to paying the tab. If I'd been home I would have nixed all the eating out. Dh even paid for their entrances to museums, etc. All in all, I'm glad I was gone because it would not have been a pleasant visit.
October 26th, 2012 at 08:29 pm 1351283361
We have a lot of visitors and during our summer festivals I've often felt like our home was a hotel for family & friends. One group leaves and there's barely time to change the bed linens before the new group arrives. We follow the visitor rule...'like fish guests shouldn't stay more than 3 days, after day 4 they begin to smell.'
Why not treat guests as we would expect to be treated in their home? Guests treat for one meal out and it's their choice to visit over meals with us or go out on their own. MapQuest makes it fast and easy to supply information but most have GPS if driving/renting. Visitors with DKs the same age, we'd choose one outing to join. Limitations were clearly stated in advance with our DKs. Visitors understand all the synonyms for 'no,' said with a smile.
We've had several visitors stay long term taking a course or going to summer school for example. We've made it clear that we're happy to host and explained 'house rules' so that there are no unmet expectations. If visitors disappoint or severely disrupt our lives, we speak up! We do our best to explain in the most positive words we can muster that we just don't do that [whatever it is] here. We've had some doozies but it all worked out in the end.
For a visiting college friend, I'd do the things on her list that I'm happy to do and give brochures, Mapquest info, drop her off or even loan my car so that she can visit places of personal interest. I doubt she'd want to think her visit would upset the household.
I suggest creating a new sub category of vacation budget to set cost limits for visitors. Every dollar spent on visitors reduces the sum for vacation with flex from your personal allowance for example.
October 26th, 2012 at 09:35 pm 1351287307
October 27th, 2012 at 06:45 pm 1351363504
Jerry
November 7th, 2012 at 08:20 pm 1352319610